Wanda Arlicious… she’s my truck.
Mostly at my wife’s insistence, and to some extent my own amusement, I named my truck.
It was no easy task, let me tell you. Hercules had an easier time taming the horses of Diomedes. Like everything else I do, I overthought it by about six days. It wasn’t on my radar as a crucial decision I needed to make, unlike choosing a CDL/truck driving school, trucking company, or which type of truck I wanted to drive:
⇦flatbed...
⇦dry van...

⇦reefer...
⇦tanker.
⇦flatbed...
⇦dry van...

⇦reefer...
⇦tanker.
The difference between dry van and reefer trucks is that ‘reefer’ refers to ‘refrigerated;’ see the box attached to the front of the trailer? It’s a refrigeration unit that keeps the contents of the trailer cool or frozen.
…but at my wife’s insistence (insistence is such a nicer word than if I had said constant nagging) I needed to come up with something. And I knew she wasn’t going to let it go. It’s sort of like when I’ve plopped down onto the bed at night before brushing my tooth: she’ll start poking me while repeating “hey Pete, why don’t you go brush
your teeth… poke-poke-poke- hey Pete, hey Pete, hey Pete, the Cavity Creeps are coming, poke-poke- hey Pete, hey Pete… poke-poke-poke- over and over and over again, until I get up and brush my damn teeth. It can be quite maddening, but in a loving, hygienic way.
She thought I should give the truck a female name, but what sort of girl’s name do you give to a behemoth that can pull 80,000lbs up a hill? Olga? Helga? Bertha?
And who, on God’s green earth, of non-German or -Eastern European descent would name the object of their affections Olga, Helga, or Bertha?
And who, on God’s green earth, of non-German or -Eastern European descent would name the object of their affections Olga, Helga, or Bertha?
I knew I needed to get to know my truck first; did it have a personality? What sorts of quirks were I going to find? Over the course of several weeks I became familiar with my truck, learned its moods and idiosyncrasies, and the name just came to me. Wanda Arlicious.

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Jamie Foxx as Wanda |
The a/c works great, keeps me chilled on 100° days and 80° nights, I acquired shelves for her interior, and her motor has not failed to get me up and over any hill yet, no matter the length or grade. I keep her clean, full of fluids, and even carpeted her floor. We seem to have a mutual admiration for each other, and I couldn’t be happier with any other truck.
Wanda's backside (left cheek) |
Right cheek. |
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Jamie Foxx as Wanda |
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In Living Color's Wanda |